Auld Lang Goblin Mode

James Miller, Contributing Editor & Research Analyst, Wealth Solutions Report

The World Goes Goblin Mode, Suing Tom Brady And Shaq, Spending Thousands On Taylor Swift Tickets, Committing ‘Financial Infidelity,’ Allegedly Stealing From The Elderly And Worse

Now that we’ve passed the hurdle of obligatory shopping for things people don’t need, it’s time to bid farewell to another vapid year. The lemmings will turn on the television and literally watch a ball drop and sing a Scots song about remembering good times – “Auld Lang Syne.” 

Admit it – you remember the bad times, and as much as you want to believe it, next year won’t be any better. 

When you finally accept how meaningless it all is, you can live according to “a type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.”

Goblin mode

They finally understand me! The New York Times, that is, relating the definition of the Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year: “Goblin mode.”

I’ve always called it living an authentic life in full acceptance of existential abandonment. Now the overlords of media and language finally recognize the disengagement and selfish greed that we’re experiencing everywhere, as evidenced by the stories we have for you this week.

Some of the characters below took goblin mode too far, but you won’t. There’s nothing better to do at the stroke of midnight than turn off the television, don’t pretend like you can sing in Scots, and get a vision for your best year yet, as you go goblin mode.

Don’t pretend like you can sing in Scots.

1) From Tom Brady to Shaq, FTX’s Celebrity Promoters May Be On the Hook for Damages

“FTX’s viral Super Bowl ad featured multiple versions of a deeply skeptical Larry David. In light of the cryptocurrency exchange’s collapse, his fellow celebrities might have done well to heed his advice.

“The creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm is among the slew of stars being sued for promoting FTX’s services and products. The lawsuits allege they lured unsophisticated investors into the debacle.”

“FTX put itself and more than 100 affiliates into bankruptcy proceedings this month, shielding them from suits. The promoters, who aren’t in bankruptcy court, have no such protection.”

Thinning the crypto herd

If someone loses money by investing in an unregulated market known for shady characters and “rug pulls,” Darwin’s rule of natural selection performed as it should. The investor got thinned from the herd, and the herd is healthier without them.  

But in a very goblinish misuse of the legal system, people can sue Shaq, Tom Brady or Larry David for their own mistakes. Unapologetic greed? Check.

To read the full article by Zijia Song and Joe Schneider of Think Advisor, click here.

2)  What Taylor Swift Reveals About the Economy

“Skyrocketing demand, limited supply, price gouging and monopoly accusations. And a customer willing to pay almost anything. Welcome to Swiftonomics.

“Taylor Swift’s upcoming U.S. tour of 52 concerts has all the ingredients of a post-Covid demand shock. Some resellers reportedly asked $40,000 or more for concert tickets following last week’s run on official sales, which left millions empty-handed and ready to pay whatever it takes to score a seat.”

Taylor Swift sings well. So does your Aunt Frida. You didn’t just pay Aunt Frida 40 grand to sing “Jingle Bells” this weekend, did you? 

Unlike cryptocurrency, which at least promises you the moon, there’s nothing at the end of a Taylor Swift concert except ringing ears – but there’s demand, price gouging and monopoly accusations. What do we have here? Goblins. Millions of goblins.

To read the full article by Augusta Saraiva of Think Advisor, click here.

3)  Ask an advisor: Does my client need a financial planner or a marriage counselor?

“A certified financial planner in Virginia tells us he’s been advising a married couple to the best of his abilities, but he’s beginning to wonder if their problems go beyond his purview. One spouse is handling money in a way that not only violates their financial plan, but raises questions of marital trust and honesty.

Your spouse is an idiot

“As various advisors responded, one term that came up again and again was ‘financial infidelity.’ While definitions vary, the term generally refers to a situation where someone lies or keeps secrets about money from their significant other.”

You’re easy to get along with – it’s your spouse that’s stubborn, right? Why ask that idiot to agree to your spending habits when clearly they don’t understand money or value?

It’s your goblin mode, and you’ll do as you please. Keep that fool in the dark and indulge yourself in the pleasures you deserve.

To read the full article by Nathan Place of Financial Planning, click here.

4) Ex-advisor Spagnoletti sentenced to three years over child porn

“Nicholas Spagnoletti, the former advisor who was arrested in August 2021 on child pornography charges, was sentenced to three years in prison on Friday.”

He was also “placed on ‘parole supervision for life’, which has a minimum term of 15 years.”

Now here’s where goblin mode went too far. You can reject social norms, but you can’t be a sick predator. 

Next stop – spending three years in the slam with some sick predators. Oops. 

To read the full article by Alex Rosenberg of Citywire RIA, click here.

5) Ex-LPL financial advisor charged with 23 felonies in elder fraud case

“Bradley A. Goodbred was arrested west of Chicago on Nov. 30 on charges of financial exploitation of an elderly person and theft after detectives and prosecutors’ investigation showed that he used a ‘client’s money for his personal gain’ rather than investing it, according to the police in Yorkville, Illinois. The criminal case comes two months after the SEC filed a civil action accusing Goodbred of bilking a 97-year-old woman later diagnosed with dementia for $1.3 million.”

There’s nothing lazier than outright theft from helpless seniors. That’s some high-powered goblinization there, if the allegations are true.

If you’re going goblin mode for 2023, just note that stealing will still land you in jail. 

Don’t goblin yourself into this place

To read the full article by Tobias Salinger of Financial Planning, click here.

6) Half-brother of dead advisor sues LPL alleging UTMA fraud

“A relative of a deceased advisor formerly registered with LPL Financial has accused the firm of fraud and negligence in relation to alleged misappropriation of money from his UTMA account. 

Orange is a bad look for you

“Plaintiff Brandon Moses filed suit against LPL earlier this month, alleging that his half-brother, the late William Moses, instructed LPL to wire more than $143,000 out of his UTMA account and into checking accounts at other banks…

“Brandon Moses alleges this was done without his knowledge or consent, in violation of the Uniform Transfers to Minors Act (UTMA).”

If the allegations are true, then stealing from your own brother is right up there with stealing from a 97-year-old lady. Très goblin mode – and also illegal. 

Orange is a bad look for you, so don’t steal from your family when you try out goblin mode in January.

The added wrinkle here, just like FTX, is you can’t reach the actual person who allegedly caused the problem, so you have to sue someone else. Suing people is perfectly legal, so enjoy your first breath of fresh goblinhood and go sue somebody! Just don’t sue me. 

To read the full article by Andrew Foerch of Citywire RIA, click here.

James Miller, Contributing Editor & Research Analyst at Wealth Solutions Report, can be reached at

Related Posts

Sign Up for Our Newsletters

Sign Up for Our Newsletters